The shredder at my work has a feature called “safeguard” where if you put your fingers in it the shredder won’t turn on but if you put paper in it will. It can sense the difference. Tell me why I try to stick my fingers in the shredder every time I walk by… Let’s hope that feature never breaks. I wonder if it would know if I paper-mâchéd my fingers and then tried to put them in the shredder… hm…
When we first got the shredder, I read the manual to ensure proper use and longevity of the product. The shredder has a warning on it that is an outline of a baby with a circle-slash symbol over it. Apparently this model is not equipped to shred babies. Cheapskates. What the hell am I gonna do with all these babies… I can’t recycle them, the dumpster says no babies too. What if I paper-mâchéd the babies….
To the craft room!
